When things are bad.
When she doesn't want to be cheered up...
I don't just give in to Kathy's mood.
Instead I try to say or do something that tickles her, slightly, unexpectedly.
The corners of her mouth turn up and she raises her eyes to mine.
It's a little victory.
That is, until Kathy notices me noticing, then the mood that doesn't want to go away comes back,
and still I smile inside.
If this was an attitude without cause, an ignorant anger,
I would be less tolerant.
If I didn't care to make things better.
If this was another case of someone being wrong in their behavior.
At my best I can regard the shortcomings of others with polite incredulity.
This thing with Kathy is different.
Any doubts that you may have, would be erased if you saw the fact finding mission she undertook to see where her pain level is at without the pain meds masking it.
I'll tell you what, this is one tough girl.
To endure this, to know it is not over, the uncertainty of what the future will bring...
I saw this thing happen to the girl of my dreams.
I am seeing the ripples, from the boulder that splashed our lives, continue to disturb our tranquility.
Big enough to prevent a smooth finish,
but not big enough to surf on.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
determined to keep the sun
Depression is easier to cure than endure.
This is why I'm doing everything I can think of to show Kathy that this isn't going to define her.
It definitely isn't going to last forever!
Not like this.
Not on my watch.
I must admit though, that some days it feels like all the kings men are either lazy or union members.
Taking too many breaks.
Taking too long to put the pieces back together again.
The cost of waiting is too high some days and it is all we can do to distract Kathy until all is well.
While she waits, I am a robot.
Working to show Kathy that the plan was always to give her the option of staying home if she wants.
Jobs are flying through me like an assembly line, the inspiration for my focus is to prove to Kathy that things will be okay.
Better than okay, things will be great!
My customers have been loyal and are being rewarded for it.
I am setting things up to accomodate my eldest son, who is trained to be a service technician and returning from Afghanistan in February.
As I hire good qualified people, I will be able to spend more time at home with Kathy (or more time in the Bahamas with Kathy!).
One of my favorite things about Kathy is the way she experiences new things, like a child, full of trust and wonder.
When you get straight to the heart of the matter,
that is why I work so hard,
to be with Kathy and have the means to keep the wonder in her eyes.
This is why I'm doing everything I can think of to show Kathy that this isn't going to define her.
It definitely isn't going to last forever!
Not like this.
Not on my watch.
I must admit though, that some days it feels like all the kings men are either lazy or union members.
Taking too many breaks.
Taking too long to put the pieces back together again.
The cost of waiting is too high some days and it is all we can do to distract Kathy until all is well.
While she waits, I am a robot.
Working to show Kathy that the plan was always to give her the option of staying home if she wants.
Jobs are flying through me like an assembly line, the inspiration for my focus is to prove to Kathy that things will be okay.
Better than okay, things will be great!
My customers have been loyal and are being rewarded for it.
I am setting things up to accomodate my eldest son, who is trained to be a service technician and returning from Afghanistan in February.
As I hire good qualified people, I will be able to spend more time at home with Kathy (or more time in the Bahamas with Kathy!).
One of my favorite things about Kathy is the way she experiences new things, like a child, full of trust and wonder.
When you get straight to the heart of the matter,
that is why I work so hard,
to be with Kathy and have the means to keep the wonder in her eyes.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
a planless plan
It's already Christmas!
The house is asleep, but I'm still up waiting for the paint to dry.
Really, I really AM waiting for the paint to dry.
I should've been working on this two weeks ago!
I am finishing the refinishing touches on an antique safe I got for Kathy.
I'm making an eighty year old safe rust free and look more girly.
Cary, Buffalo NY, the company that made this safe was in business from 1878-1929.
It's not easy to make a block the size of a dishwasher that weighs 850 pounds (no joke) look cute.
Especially with the little time I've had available to work on it.
I had a different safe in mind originally, but wanted a safe that no one else has (like everyone has a safe!).
This one is a cartoon safe - like what gets dropped on Wile E. Coyote!
Except it's not black or rusty anymore.
So, while I'm staying up waiting to put a clear coat on, I thought I'd keep this blog from dying.
Speaking of dying, I already got my Christmas present when Kathy lived through that crash in October.
Has it only/already been 70 days since the accident?
So why a safe?
I like to keep Kathy guessing, but I hope she connects a bunch of symbolism when she sees it.
Your ridiculously corny alarm should be going off about now!!!
It's a place to keep things that are valuable to her - like my heart.
She's safe and protected.
Even though things are surprisingly heavy sometimes, we're solid - like 850 lbs of solid!
It's remarkable & impressive - like the girl who's getting it!
Besides, nobody else has a safe like this one!
I don't think Kathy can hate it, because it's such an unusual gift.
Alright, she CAN hate it, but I don't think she will.
Is that paint dry?
I'm rambling.
Gotta go.
Merry Christmas!
The house is asleep, but I'm still up waiting for the paint to dry.
Really, I really AM waiting for the paint to dry.
I should've been working on this two weeks ago!
I am finishing the refinishing touches on an antique safe I got for Kathy.
I'm making an eighty year old safe rust free and look more girly.
Cary, Buffalo NY, the company that made this safe was in business from 1878-1929.
It's not easy to make a block the size of a dishwasher that weighs 850 pounds (no joke) look cute.
Especially with the little time I've had available to work on it.
I had a different safe in mind originally, but wanted a safe that no one else has (like everyone has a safe!).
This one is a cartoon safe - like what gets dropped on Wile E. Coyote!
Except it's not black or rusty anymore.
So, while I'm staying up waiting to put a clear coat on, I thought I'd keep this blog from dying.
Speaking of dying, I already got my Christmas present when Kathy lived through that crash in October.
Has it only/already been 70 days since the accident?
So why a safe?
I like to keep Kathy guessing, but I hope she connects a bunch of symbolism when she sees it.
Your ridiculously corny alarm should be going off about now!!!
It's a place to keep things that are valuable to her - like my heart.
She's safe and protected.
Even though things are surprisingly heavy sometimes, we're solid - like 850 lbs of solid!
It's remarkable & impressive - like the girl who's getting it!
Besides, nobody else has a safe like this one!
I don't think Kathy can hate it, because it's such an unusual gift.
Alright, she CAN hate it, but I don't think she will.
Is that paint dry?
I'm rambling.
Gotta go.
Merry Christmas!
Friday, December 23, 2011
Don't touch that dial
Only a few days until Christmas!
Just wanted to let you know Kathy is still alive and getting stronger every day!
Super busy right now, but will catch you all up as soon as we get a minute.
Haven't set a deadline for walking yet.
I'm told we shouldn't try that until she can stand on both legs first.
Maybe a New Years Resolution?
Since we used all our bad luck up this year, next year is going to be AWESOME!
Just wanted to let you know Kathy is still alive and getting stronger every day!
Super busy right now, but will catch you all up as soon as we get a minute.
Haven't set a deadline for walking yet.
I'm told we shouldn't try that until she can stand on both legs first.
Maybe a New Years Resolution?
Since we used all our bad luck up this year, next year is going to be AWESOME!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
send whiskey and fresh horses
It doesn't help that,
during this painful and ongoing process,
I am gone so much,
having to work.
Kathy is extremely bummed at me for being gone all the time.
She's right you know.
I haven't spent a full day just hanging with My Girl since I brought her home!
During the month after the accident I missed three weeks of getting jobs completed.
As soon as we came home the cold weather hit.
I was already buried at work from missing so much time away.
The heating/cooling business is not one to make people wait on you.
There are too many HVAC shops in this valley to expect people to wrap up a week or two until you get done with personal stuff.
That's a good way to lose customers!
So, here I am working like I never have in my life.
That's a good way to lose my wife!
I'm trying to grow this new business AND take care of My Girl!
Except, the most important part of taking care of Kathy is being here with her.
I can't win in either area without sacrificing the other.
Can't win completely anyway.
I keep asking for patience from Kathy in this, like she hasn't been so patient already, like days don't turn into weeks and months.
Her friends are tremendous in all the help they give me, but in Kathy's words, they can't babysit all the time.
It's not fair to ask.
It's also not fair that an Angel like Kathy is grounded (temporarily).
AND it's not fair that the success of my business competes directly with the success of my relationship.
I keep going back to what I've always told my boys growing up -
"Whoever told you life was fair, lied to you."
I am well aware of this and have never complained about it or quit making it better.
I won't start now.
This is no time to be still.
during this painful and ongoing process,
I am gone so much,
having to work.
Kathy is extremely bummed at me for being gone all the time.
She's right you know.
I haven't spent a full day just hanging with My Girl since I brought her home!
During the month after the accident I missed three weeks of getting jobs completed.
As soon as we came home the cold weather hit.
I was already buried at work from missing so much time away.
The heating/cooling business is not one to make people wait on you.
There are too many HVAC shops in this valley to expect people to wrap up a week or two until you get done with personal stuff.
That's a good way to lose customers!
So, here I am working like I never have in my life.
That's a good way to lose my wife!
I'm trying to grow this new business AND take care of My Girl!
Except, the most important part of taking care of Kathy is being here with her.
I can't win in either area without sacrificing the other.
Can't win completely anyway.
I keep asking for patience from Kathy in this, like she hasn't been so patient already, like days don't turn into weeks and months.
Her friends are tremendous in all the help they give me, but in Kathy's words, they can't babysit all the time.
It's not fair to ask.
It's also not fair that an Angel like Kathy is grounded (temporarily).
AND it's not fair that the success of my business competes directly with the success of my relationship.
I keep going back to what I've always told my boys growing up -
"Whoever told you life was fair, lied to you."
I am well aware of this and have never complained about it or quit making it better.
I won't start now.
This is no time to be still.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
cuz it's what Tiggers do best!
The ups and downs of Kathy's new life situation are taxing to be sure, however I'm not sure that there isn't a full recovery in this.
Try as she might, Kathy can't seem to convince me otherwise.
The helplessness, of waiting for time to heal, plays on Kathy's resolve.
It is counter intuitive for a person of action.
You'd think being in the medical field and knowing that time heals would make it easier for her to wait.
I think Kathy is like a rabbit.
Not just because she is cute and cuddly, but because a rabbit gets eaten by the big bad wolf if it stops running.
If she can't stop AND she can't run, what's a rabbit to do?
Kathy waits day in and day out, for her ability to run to return.
Watching her muscles fade as she hides out, feeling the big bad wolf creep closer and closer.
It must be a maddening kind of crazy.
Friendly faces can distract and make noises that drive the big bad wolf away, but friendly faces can't always be here.
Some days it's like tuning into a National Geographic show, where you can't bear to watch as the predator nears its weak and helpless prey.
So far those days keep surprising me with unexpected victories.
Like when a crocodile has a baby antelope in it's grasp, and suddenly it gets free and runs away to the safety of it's herd.
It is definitely a reflection of Kathy's inner strength.
The way she keeps rebounding. Keeps bouncing back from the abyss.
It will startle a few when Kathy bounces from where she is at and runs full speed to safety.
It will startle a few, maybe even herself, but not me.
I am still convinced she will.
Try as she might, Kathy can't seem to convince me otherwise.
The helplessness, of waiting for time to heal, plays on Kathy's resolve.
It is counter intuitive for a person of action.
You'd think being in the medical field and knowing that time heals would make it easier for her to wait.
I think Kathy is like a rabbit.
Not just because she is cute and cuddly, but because a rabbit gets eaten by the big bad wolf if it stops running.
If she can't stop AND she can't run, what's a rabbit to do?
Kathy waits day in and day out, for her ability to run to return.
Watching her muscles fade as she hides out, feeling the big bad wolf creep closer and closer.
It must be a maddening kind of crazy.
Friendly faces can distract and make noises that drive the big bad wolf away, but friendly faces can't always be here.
Some days it's like tuning into a National Geographic show, where you can't bear to watch as the predator nears its weak and helpless prey.
So far those days keep surprising me with unexpected victories.
Like when a crocodile has a baby antelope in it's grasp, and suddenly it gets free and runs away to the safety of it's herd.
It is definitely a reflection of Kathy's inner strength.
The way she keeps rebounding. Keeps bouncing back from the abyss.
It will startle a few when Kathy bounces from where she is at and runs full speed to safety.
It will startle a few, maybe even herself, but not me.
I am still convinced she will.
Friday, December 16, 2011
sticky sweet, like molasses
Yeah.
The things I say to Kathy are pretty corny (as in corn syrup), but if you've been around us long, you know I don't stop, it isn't for show and it IS from my heart.
What can I say?
She keeps me inspired. It's not hard to be imaginative when I'm always trying to impress her.
Even if it didn't get her attention, I would still tell Kathy sweet things because I know it SHOULD get her attention!
Oh and that's not ALL I do to show her what she means to me.
I send her texts whenever she is at work, hide the occasional card, give her rub downs, call whe... HEY! If it has a chance of impressing her, I'M DOING IT!
I don't think this should get my Man Card pulled.
In my defense, what you should also know (Guys listen up), is that Kathy impresses ME all the time too!
She is so damn Cute and Sexy!
She shares my new adventures, I get my own rub downs, she makes great food, is classy without pretence, smart, empathetic, tough... I can go on and on!
Let me just say, I get LOTS and LOTS of jellybeans!
I don't think I'll ever get the gushing over this girl out of my system.
I hope I never do.
Guys, when you meet someone who makes YOU feel like Kathy makes ME feel,
you better not take any chances of her getting away!
Sweep her off her feet and don't ever stop getting her attention.
Unless it's Kathy and you should just move along.
Cuz she's MINE... and forever is a long time to wait!
The things I say to Kathy are pretty corny (as in corn syrup), but if you've been around us long, you know I don't stop, it isn't for show and it IS from my heart.
What can I say?
She keeps me inspired. It's not hard to be imaginative when I'm always trying to impress her.
Even if it didn't get her attention, I would still tell Kathy sweet things because I know it SHOULD get her attention!
Oh and that's not ALL I do to show her what she means to me.
I send her texts whenever she is at work, hide the occasional card, give her rub downs, call whe... HEY! If it has a chance of impressing her, I'M DOING IT!
I don't think this should get my Man Card pulled.
In my defense, what you should also know (Guys listen up), is that Kathy impresses ME all the time too!
She is so damn Cute and Sexy!
She shares my new adventures, I get my own rub downs, she makes great food, is classy without pretence, smart, empathetic, tough... I can go on and on!
Let me just say, I get LOTS and LOTS of jellybeans!
I don't think I'll ever get the gushing over this girl out of my system.
I hope I never do.
Guys, when you meet someone who makes YOU feel like Kathy makes ME feel,
you better not take any chances of her getting away!
Sweep her off her feet and don't ever stop getting her attention.
Unless it's Kathy and you should just move along.
Cuz she's MINE... and forever is a long time to wait!
WOW!
THANK YOU!
That's a gigantic "Thank You!" to so many of you who showed up last night!
It was more than we expected in so many ways!
I keep telling Kathy that this story of her life is just beginning.
You all are helping me prove that to her.
What a great way to recharge her damaged psyche, by stuffing Roscoe's full of people who love her!
Kathy was really nervous as we drove to Phoenix.
I tried to downplay expectations, as it was a Thursday night and only ten days before Christmas.
Seeing that there was no close parking available was the first surprise.
The shoulder to shoulder people, packed inside like sardines, who clapped and cheered as Kathy was wheeled in, made for such an overwhelming moment that my heart swelled for her!
It couldn't have been better! Everything about it exceeded expectations.
It was so so good for Kathy to see how many support her.
I feel like I should list everyone who was there and did so much, but this post would be a long and tedious read if I did.
I'll wait and do a separate post for that.
Mostly I want to say that we BOTH can't thank all of you enough, for the words of encouragement and love, the generosity, the great company and time out of your busy schedules.
Nobody wants to be forgotten.
You all showed Kathy that THAT will never happen!
THANK YOU!
That's a gigantic "Thank You!" to so many of you who showed up last night!
It was more than we expected in so many ways!
I keep telling Kathy that this story of her life is just beginning.
You all are helping me prove that to her.
What a great way to recharge her damaged psyche, by stuffing Roscoe's full of people who love her!
Kathy was really nervous as we drove to Phoenix.
I tried to downplay expectations, as it was a Thursday night and only ten days before Christmas.
Seeing that there was no close parking available was the first surprise.
The shoulder to shoulder people, packed inside like sardines, who clapped and cheered as Kathy was wheeled in, made for such an overwhelming moment that my heart swelled for her!
It couldn't have been better! Everything about it exceeded expectations.
It was so so good for Kathy to see how many support her.
I feel like I should list everyone who was there and did so much, but this post would be a long and tedious read if I did.
I'll wait and do a separate post for that.
Mostly I want to say that we BOTH can't thank all of you enough, for the words of encouragement and love, the generosity, the great company and time out of your busy schedules.
Nobody wants to be forgotten.
You all showed Kathy that THAT will never happen!
THANK YOU!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
truth or dare
Time for a secret.
We are all gullible in one way or another. (No, that isn't the secret).
It doesn't matter how educated we are, there is something that each one of us thinks that isn't the accepted norm.
Kathy is no exception to this.
She thinks some funny stuff!
Not just since, but even before the accident.
One of my favorites is that Kathy swears we hit HUMMING BIRDS when we drive!
It cracks me up!
She says they are so small and fast that we don't see them, but every now and then she hears one hit the windshield!
It stands to reason that we can't find them when we stop because, being so small, they would be flung far and would be hard to see in the grass.
Being a man, I thought it would be fun to tease Kathy about this idea.
One day I found a little bitty bird skeleton (probably a baby pigeon), stuck it in my truck grill, and pretended surprise as I "found" it!
Kathy couldn't believe it!
She was vindicated!
Here at last was proof!
Proof that we DO hit humming birds when we drive!
I had to act fast to keep Kathy from calling her friends (so my prank didn't last long).
Hey! I didn't make this up!
I wasn't mean about it!
Maybe I took advantage of her trust in me.
If so, I figure I would fall for any trick she pulls on me.
We are all gullible in one way or another. (No, that isn't the secret).
It doesn't matter how educated we are, there is something that each one of us thinks that isn't the accepted norm.
Kathy is no exception to this.
She thinks some funny stuff!
Not just since, but even before the accident.
One of my favorites is that Kathy swears we hit HUMMING BIRDS when we drive!
It cracks me up!
She says they are so small and fast that we don't see them, but every now and then she hears one hit the windshield!
It stands to reason that we can't find them when we stop because, being so small, they would be flung far and would be hard to see in the grass.
Being a man, I thought it would be fun to tease Kathy about this idea.
One day I found a little bitty bird skeleton (probably a baby pigeon), stuck it in my truck grill, and pretended surprise as I "found" it!
Kathy couldn't believe it!
She was vindicated!
Here at last was proof!
Proof that we DO hit humming birds when we drive!
I had to act fast to keep Kathy from calling her friends (so my prank didn't last long).
Hey! I didn't make this up!
I wasn't mean about it!
Maybe I took advantage of her trust in me.
If so, I figure I would fall for any trick she pulls on me.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Sunday, Monday, Happy Days...
I wonder...
How many of us would be happy to have reached our dream even if we couldn't hang on to it?
World champions in sports almost always come back to defend their title until they lose it for good.
Mountain climbers look for higher mountains until the highest is climbed.
Then what? Are they satisfied to have "been there done that"?
Or...
Do they feel a hollow place where their dream used to sit?
I tell Kathy that my dream is fulfilled, that SHE IS MY DREAM!
If ALL she was was JUST my dream, I could stop trying, my happiness assured.
(Cuz you can't take it away from me or pretend it never happened. Nyah nyah!)
Except my dream wasn't just to HAVE Kathy, it was, and still is,
to make her happy for the rest of her life.
Ouch. This dream just got complicated.
It's really hard to make someone happy if they don't want to be.
When you can't go back in time or take their pain away,
even Angels can only smile through tears for so long.
I have an imagination that never stops and a heart so full of my dream,
that it will never feel so hollow that my dream dies.
That means;
Kathy better hold on tight because HAPPY DAYS ARE COMING AGAIN!
(stating your objective is the first step in planning your dream)
How many of us would be happy to have reached our dream even if we couldn't hang on to it?
World champions in sports almost always come back to defend their title until they lose it for good.
Mountain climbers look for higher mountains until the highest is climbed.
Then what? Are they satisfied to have "been there done that"?
Or...
Do they feel a hollow place where their dream used to sit?
I tell Kathy that my dream is fulfilled, that SHE IS MY DREAM!
If ALL she was was JUST my dream, I could stop trying, my happiness assured.
(Cuz you can't take it away from me or pretend it never happened. Nyah nyah!)
Except my dream wasn't just to HAVE Kathy, it was, and still is,
to make her happy for the rest of her life.
Ouch. This dream just got complicated.
It's really hard to make someone happy if they don't want to be.
When you can't go back in time or take their pain away,
even Angels can only smile through tears for so long.
I have an imagination that never stops and a heart so full of my dream,
that it will never feel so hollow that my dream dies.
That means;
Kathy better hold on tight because HAPPY DAYS ARE COMING AGAIN!
(stating your objective is the first step in planning your dream)
Saturday, December 10, 2011
You have one unheard message...
I must admit to feeling uninspired lately.
Partly it is the same thing that affects Kathy (the slow grind of healing can't be watched with pleasure), partly it is my fatigue, but mostly it is a falling off of that feeling of desperation for others to know just what Kathy is going through.
I suffer from the same thing we all do -
The intense shock felt when Kathy was first hurt, fades over time.
The adrenaline that energizes action wears out.
This is the time when I should be pushing harder than ever!
I am doing everything I can to keep stress from Kathy's life.
The rub, for me, is that the more I work to relieve financial stress, the less time I have to be home with Kathy. She is stuck at home and, while Kathy is getting more able to manuver herself, she can not stand, can not leave the house, drive to town, get dishes from the upper cabinets, shower herself, etc.
Even knowing this, for most who know Kathy, the sense of urgency is ending.
We all have lives too!
With Christmas only a couple weeks away, kids to look after, weddings, jobs, cold weather, and everything else, someone else will make time to check up on Kathy.
Besides, she has a great husband who adores her, HE should be the one taking care of her!
Believe me, I'm trying my best to.
In looking out for Kathy, I want to remind you of the "Love to Walk" Concert Benefit at Roscoe's this next Thursday 6:00-9:00!
The Rogue Suspects are playing! Kathy loves those guys!
There will be some cool silent auction items, a pledge drive, a 50/50 raffle and more!
(Roscoe's BBQ 117 S. Main, Phoenix, OR)
I have to tell you,
the help will be nice, but more important to me is just showing your support for Kathy.
I see the strength she gets from her friends.
I'm afraid we haven't got the word out well and this is a busy season for all.
Kathy has been floored by the love sent to her in so many ways.
Even if you just come out for a great time, I hope to see you at Roscoe's Thursday!
Partly it is the same thing that affects Kathy (the slow grind of healing can't be watched with pleasure), partly it is my fatigue, but mostly it is a falling off of that feeling of desperation for others to know just what Kathy is going through.
I suffer from the same thing we all do -
The intense shock felt when Kathy was first hurt, fades over time.
The adrenaline that energizes action wears out.
This is the time when I should be pushing harder than ever!
I am doing everything I can to keep stress from Kathy's life.
The rub, for me, is that the more I work to relieve financial stress, the less time I have to be home with Kathy. She is stuck at home and, while Kathy is getting more able to manuver herself, she can not stand, can not leave the house, drive to town, get dishes from the upper cabinets, shower herself, etc.
Even knowing this, for most who know Kathy, the sense of urgency is ending.
We all have lives too!
With Christmas only a couple weeks away, kids to look after, weddings, jobs, cold weather, and everything else, someone else will make time to check up on Kathy.
Besides, she has a great husband who adores her, HE should be the one taking care of her!
Believe me, I'm trying my best to.
In looking out for Kathy, I want to remind you of the "Love to Walk" Concert Benefit at Roscoe's this next Thursday 6:00-9:00!
The Rogue Suspects are playing! Kathy loves those guys!
There will be some cool silent auction items, a pledge drive, a 50/50 raffle and more!
(Roscoe's BBQ 117 S. Main, Phoenix, OR)
I have to tell you,
the help will be nice, but more important to me is just showing your support for Kathy.
I see the strength she gets from her friends.
I'm afraid we haven't got the word out well and this is a busy season for all.
Kathy has been floored by the love sent to her in so many ways.
Even if you just come out for a great time, I hope to see you at Roscoe's Thursday!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Cute on one side
Kathy has always been the cute one!
No matter where she is, what job she is at, what she is doing, Kathy always catches eyes.
She pulls off awkward moments and embarrassing situations
(without a "Do Not Go To Jail" card!).
It's not just her great smile and beautiful eyes, Kathy projects without pretence.
It's not common and it is definitely attractive.
She has a nonthreatening newness in the way she approaches things.
Girls don't feel insecure around her until they notice their guys paying too much attention.
Even then, they know it's understandable, I mean, seriously, who can resist her personality?
Add her eye candy looks and she becomes impossibly irresistible!
I suspect you are starting to roll your eyes as I am so obviously biased.
Okay, so...
The same lack of pretence can be turned over.
The brightness of the moon also has a dark side that noone ever sees.
If a match stops burning, it leaves only black carbon.
The good energy required to maintain that glow, can be taxing if the source is compromised.
(I wonder if that is why commedians are often moody when not on stage performing)
You suspect I will betray a weakness? In me? In Kathy, yes?
No, she truly is the strongest woman I have ever met.
We all cope with things differently and I doubt most could go through this as well as Kathy has.
Sometimes, it seems like things are so easy for certain people.
Aren't we all surprised when those people come crashing down?
It's easy to think they don't need help like regular people. They have it all, remember?
Only those closest to them see how hard it is for them to hold on to who they are.
This affects everyone around Kathy.
The closer you are, the more you are affected.
Understanding, what it is taking from Kathy to heal, is the secret.
Teaching that understanding to all who care about her, is my goal.
No matter where she is, what job she is at, what she is doing, Kathy always catches eyes.
She pulls off awkward moments and embarrassing situations
(without a "Do Not Go To Jail" card!).
It's not just her great smile and beautiful eyes, Kathy projects without pretence.
It's not common and it is definitely attractive.
She has a nonthreatening newness in the way she approaches things.
Girls don't feel insecure around her until they notice their guys paying too much attention.
Even then, they know it's understandable, I mean, seriously, who can resist her personality?
Add her eye candy looks and she becomes impossibly irresistible!
I suspect you are starting to roll your eyes as I am so obviously biased.
Okay, so...
The same lack of pretence can be turned over.
The brightness of the moon also has a dark side that noone ever sees.
If a match stops burning, it leaves only black carbon.
The good energy required to maintain that glow, can be taxing if the source is compromised.
(I wonder if that is why commedians are often moody when not on stage performing)
You suspect I will betray a weakness? In me? In Kathy, yes?
No, she truly is the strongest woman I have ever met.
We all cope with things differently and I doubt most could go through this as well as Kathy has.
Sometimes, it seems like things are so easy for certain people.
Aren't we all surprised when those people come crashing down?
It's easy to think they don't need help like regular people. They have it all, remember?
Only those closest to them see how hard it is for them to hold on to who they are.
This affects everyone around Kathy.
The closer you are, the more you are affected.
Understanding, what it is taking from Kathy to heal, is the secret.
Teaching that understanding to all who care about her, is my goal.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Been away to that place
It's been a few days since I've posted.
By the time I get a chance to post, I am way too tired.
Lately, I feel like I'm surrounded by fires, slapping at each of them, but not putting any of them out.
At least I can blame it on being behind on too many things and a lack of focus on each of them. Eventually they will all be behind me.
I wish Kathy could see that eventually this will be behind her too.
Some days are a challenge for her to get through.
Some days are a challenge for all of us to get through (note to self; to prevent the impression of over-dramatization, avoid graphic descriptions of actual events in this, use vague cliches instead).
There has been so much to write about.
Kathy's friends are still incredible!
We put a mattress on the pool table so she can be moved out of the same four walls - one of Kathy's best days was when six of her friends came over in one day. Some made food, some climbed on the pool table with her and watched movies, some brought flowers, some just cared for her.
It gave me a chance to check out and veg for a day.
It also came at a perfect time for Kathy. She was slipping fast into a destructive depression.
Thank you girls!!!
My Aunts and Uncles have made trips out. Our motorcycle buddy has been here when everyone else is too busy.
I'm avoiding names this posting because, honestly, I don't remember everyone who has helped this last couple weeks that I have been so slammed at work! I have way too many distractions to keep track of it all, so I'm not naming anyone. You know who you are. You know how grateful we are for your consideration.
Kathy has a steep hill to climb and that realization has sunk in. It's demoralizing. Having friends around distracts her from dwelling on it, keeps her from that place.
Hope to see you soon!
By the time I get a chance to post, I am way too tired.
Lately, I feel like I'm surrounded by fires, slapping at each of them, but not putting any of them out.
At least I can blame it on being behind on too many things and a lack of focus on each of them. Eventually they will all be behind me.
I wish Kathy could see that eventually this will be behind her too.
Some days are a challenge for her to get through.
Some days are a challenge for all of us to get through (note to self; to prevent the impression of over-dramatization, avoid graphic descriptions of actual events in this, use vague cliches instead).
There has been so much to write about.
Kathy's friends are still incredible!
We put a mattress on the pool table so she can be moved out of the same four walls - one of Kathy's best days was when six of her friends came over in one day. Some made food, some climbed on the pool table with her and watched movies, some brought flowers, some just cared for her.
It gave me a chance to check out and veg for a day.
It also came at a perfect time for Kathy. She was slipping fast into a destructive depression.
Thank you girls!!!
My Aunts and Uncles have made trips out. Our motorcycle buddy has been here when everyone else is too busy.
I'm avoiding names this posting because, honestly, I don't remember everyone who has helped this last couple weeks that I have been so slammed at work! I have way too many distractions to keep track of it all, so I'm not naming anyone. You know who you are. You know how grateful we are for your consideration.
Kathy has a steep hill to climb and that realization has sunk in. It's demoralizing. Having friends around distracts her from dwelling on it, keeps her from that place.
Hope to see you soon!
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