WOW!

THANK YOU!
That's a gigantic "Thank You!" to so many of you who showed up last night!
It was more than we expected in so many ways!
I keep telling Kathy that this story of her life is just beginning.
You all are helping me prove that to her.
What a great way to recharge her damaged psyche, by stuffing Roscoe's full of people who love her!
Kathy was really nervous as we drove to Phoenix.
I tried to downplay expectations, as it was a Thursday night and only ten days before Christmas.
Seeing that there was no close parking available was the first surprise.

The shoulder to shoulder people, packed inside like sardines, who clapped and cheered as Kathy was wheeled in, made for such an overwhelming moment that my heart swelled for her!
It couldn't have been better! Everything about it exceeded expectations.
It was so so good for Kathy to see how many support her.

I feel like I should list everyone who was there and did so much, but this post would be a long and tedious read if I did.
I'll wait and do a separate post for that.
Mostly I want to say that we BOTH can't thank all of you enough, for the words of encouragement and love, the generosity, the great company and time out of your busy schedules.
Nobody wants to be forgotten.
You all showed Kathy that THAT will never happen!
THANK YOU!

truth or dare

Time for a secret.
We are all gullible in one way or another. (No, that isn't the secret).
It doesn't matter how educated we are, there is something that each one of us thinks that isn't the accepted norm.
Kathy is no exception to this.
She thinks some funny stuff!
Not just since, but even before the accident.
One of my favorites is that Kathy swears we hit HUMMING BIRDS when we drive!
It cracks me up!
She says they are so small and fast that we don't see them, but every now and then she hears one hit the windshield!
It stands to reason that we can't find them when we stop because, being so small, they would be flung far and would be hard to see in the grass.
Being a man, I thought it would be fun to tease Kathy about this idea.
One day I found a little bitty bird skeleton (probably a baby pigeon), stuck it in my truck grill, and pretended surprise as I "found" it!
Kathy couldn't believe it!
She was vindicated!
Here at last was proof!
Proof that we DO hit humming birds when we drive!
I had to act fast to keep Kathy from calling her friends (so my prank didn't last long).

Hey! I didn't make this up!
I wasn't mean about it!

Maybe I took advantage of her trust in me.
 If so, I figure I would fall for any trick she pulls on me.

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days...

I wonder...
How many of us would be happy to have reached our dream even if we couldn't hang on to it?
World champions in sports almost always come back to defend their title until they lose it for good.
Mountain climbers look for higher mountains until the highest is climbed.
Then what? Are they satisfied to have "been there done that"?
Or...
Do they feel a hollow place where their dream used to sit?

I tell Kathy that my dream is fulfilled, that SHE IS MY DREAM!
If ALL she was was JUST my dream, I could stop trying, my happiness assured.
(Cuz you can't take it away from me or pretend it never happened. Nyah nyah!)

Except my dream wasn't just to HAVE Kathy, it was, and still is,
to make her happy for the rest of her life.

Ouch. This dream just got complicated.

It's really hard to make someone happy if they don't want to be.
When you can't go back in time or take their pain away,
even Angels can only smile through tears for so long.
I have an imagination that never stops and a heart so full of my dream,
that it will never feel so hollow that my dream dies.

That means;
Kathy better hold on tight because HAPPY DAYS ARE COMING AGAIN!
(stating your objective is the first step in planning your dream)

You have one unheard message...

I must admit to feeling uninspired lately.
Partly it is the same thing that affects Kathy (the slow grind of healing can't be watched with pleasure), partly it is my fatigue, but mostly it is a falling off of that feeling of desperation for others to know just what Kathy is going through.
I suffer from the same thing we all do -
The intense shock felt when Kathy was first hurt, fades over time.
The adrenaline that energizes action wears out.

This is the time when I should be pushing harder than ever!
I am doing everything I can to keep stress from Kathy's life.
The rub, for me, is that the more I work to relieve financial stress, the less time I have to be home with Kathy. She is stuck at home and, while Kathy is getting more able to manuver herself, she can not stand, can not leave the house, drive to town, get dishes from the upper cabinets, shower herself, etc.

Even knowing this, for most who know Kathy, the sense of urgency is ending.
We all have lives too!
With Christmas only a couple weeks away, kids to look after, weddings, jobs, cold weather, and everything else, someone else will make time to check up on Kathy.
Besides, she has a great husband who adores her, HE should be the one taking care of her!
Believe me, I'm trying my best to.

In looking out for Kathy, I want to remind you of the "Love to Walk" Concert Benefit at Roscoe's this next Thursday 6:00-9:00!
The Rogue Suspects are playing! Kathy loves those guys!
There will be some cool silent auction items, a pledge drive, a 50/50 raffle and more!
(Roscoe's BBQ 117 S. Main, Phoenix, OR)

I have to tell you,
the help will be nice, but more important to me is just showing your support for Kathy.
I see the strength she gets from her friends.
I'm afraid we haven't got the word out well and this is a busy season for all.
Kathy has been floored by the love sent to her in so many ways.
Even if you just come out for a great time, I hope to see you at Roscoe's Thursday!

Cute on one side

Kathy has always been the cute one!

No matter where she is, what job she is at, what she is doing, Kathy always catches eyes.
She pulls off awkward moments and embarrassing situations
(without a "Do Not Go To Jail" card!).
It's not just her great smile and beautiful eyes, Kathy projects without pretence.
It's not common and it is definitely attractive.
She has a nonthreatening newness in the way she approaches things.
Girls don't feel insecure around her until they notice their guys paying too much attention.
Even then, they know it's understandable, I mean, seriously, who can resist her personality?
Add her eye candy looks and she becomes impossibly irresistible!
I suspect you are starting to roll your eyes as I am so obviously biased.
Okay, so...

The same lack of pretence can be turned over.
The brightness of the moon also has a dark side that noone ever sees.
If a match stops burning, it leaves only black carbon.
The good energy required to maintain that glow, can be taxing if the source is compromised.
(I wonder if that is why commedians are often moody when not on stage performing)
You suspect I will betray a weakness? In me? In Kathy, yes?
No, she truly is the strongest woman I have ever met.
We all cope with things differently and I doubt most could go through this as well as Kathy has.
Sometimes, it seems like things are so easy for certain people.
Aren't we all surprised when those people come crashing down?
It's easy to think they don't need help like regular people. They have it all, remember?
Only those closest to them see how hard it is for them to hold on to who they are.
This affects everyone around Kathy.
The closer you are, the more you are affected.
Understanding, what it is taking from Kathy to heal, is the secret.
Teaching that understanding to all who care about her, is my goal.

Been away to that place

It's been a few days since I've posted.
By the time I get a chance to post, I am way too tired.
Lately, I feel like I'm surrounded by fires, slapping at each of them, but not putting any of them out.
At least I can blame it on being behind on too many things and a lack of focus on each of them. Eventually they will all be behind me.
I wish Kathy could see that eventually this will be behind her too.
Some days are a challenge for her to get through.
Some days are a challenge for all of us to get through (note to self; to prevent the impression of over-dramatization, avoid graphic descriptions of actual events in this, use vague cliches instead).
There has been so much to write about.
Kathy's friends are still incredible!
We put a mattress on the pool table so she can be moved out of the same four walls - one of Kathy's best days was when six of her friends came over in one day. Some made food, some climbed on the pool table with her and watched movies, some brought flowers, some just cared for her.
It gave me a chance to check out and veg for a day.
It also came at a perfect time for Kathy. She was slipping fast into a destructive depression.
Thank you girls!!!
My Aunts and Uncles have made trips out. Our motorcycle buddy has been here when everyone else is too busy.
I'm avoiding names this posting because, honestly, I don't remember everyone who has helped this last couple weeks that I have been so slammed at work! I have way too many distractions to keep track of it all, so I'm not naming anyone. You know who you are. You know how grateful we are for your consideration.
Kathy has a steep hill to climb and that realization has sunk in. It's demoralizing. Having friends around distracts her from dwelling on it, keeps her from that place.
Hope to see you soon!

mirror mirror on the wall

The danger with writing alot is; you risk diluting the message.
The same can be said for the way time dulls the intensity of reactions to shocking news.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Do you think that's true?
If I asked you again, would you think the same thing you just thought?

As Kathy adjusts to life in the REALLY slow lane, she has time to change the first impression that people get, to move ahead of where she was.
This is encouraging to those of us who have been with her since the accident.
It's a little misleading though, to anyone who missed where she came from.
It's easy to look at Kathy and see that, other than a cast on her right foot/leg and a left leg that won't quite work right, she is as beautiful as she always was!
What's the big deal, right? She's going to be fiiiine.
I hope you're right.
I tell Kathy that she needs to be patient, that she will recover, that I'm not full of s***, naively spouting optimistic encouragements.
It's like watching a puppy grow; If you see that puppy every day, it doesn't seem like it's changing much, but if you didn't see it for a week or two...

Kathy doesn't see her improvement the way you will when you see her.
You will leave with the impression that Ted is one lucky man,
and you will be right!