I had the day we all think we want.
I stayed home and did nothing... with Kathy.
She's been ick lately with that sick that's been going around.
The only times I got up were to fix food for us or make room for more.
It wasn't eventful or productive or noteworthy in any way.
I had things that needed done, still have things that need doing, and did none of them.
My conscience didn't bother me.
I played video games, rubbed Kathy's head, watched movies, listened to Kathy sleep, ignored my phone...
I thought about watering the plants, pondered the complexities of so many channel choices, considered vacuuming, looked out the window at what was turning into a really nice day...
Somewhere around five-thirty I realized the day had gone and night was approaching.
It was the laziest day of my entire life.
I wasn't depressed.
I just felt like hanging with Kathy.
I did it like the Quaker Oats Man always said to; "Do it, because it's the right thing to do.".
It was right, and I did it.
By the end of the day, long after any chance of saving it remained, it sank in.
I chose this day, to be with Kathy, but Kathy, for months now, hasn't had a choice.
When I am ready to get something done I just get up and do it.
On the other hand, instead of giving in to frustration, Kathy is relearning the ways to get things done and doing it!
When something first happens we are inspired, at first we work too much, then later on we don't work enough.
In the days before and for the days following that wonderfully lazy day, Kathy is working hard to get it back!
I know that day was only because she was sick, and I'd rather have her feeling better, even if it meant doing a long list of things, but if I had to have a laziest day ever, that was a good one to have!
Monday, February 20, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Because we've got it!
Wowsa!
(that's like wow, only better!)
I don't think I've ever said "Wowsa!" before.
I'm sure there are other times where I THOUGHT it.
Like the first time I saw Kathy!
That time though, it sounded in my head more like, "WowsabrakecheckOMGwouldsucouldsuStopthepressesWhoooo!".
Similar, but not quite the same.
If I tried to say it, it definitely would've came out sounding very unintelligible.
Which is why I can't remember exactly what I said that night.
I was speechless.
I think I was more worried about saying something stupid than trying to look cool.
Kathy had other guys chasing her at the time (no surprise there), so there was NO WAY I was going to kill my first impression by saying something like "Wowsa!".
Today though, is different.
I have married my dream, the other guys chasing her then have since gone on to settle for less (sorry guys, somebody has to win), and we have a solid love that keeps getting stronger.
Which is why I feel comfortable saying "Wowsa!".
Valentines Day was completely unexpected!
No, I did not forget, I mean, Kathy had an evening planned that totally changed MY evening plans for us.
It had everything you can imagine! Intimate dinner, romantic cards and gifts, flowers, candlelight bubble bath, sweet words and so much more.
We even had some hilarious texts that had us cracking up!
It was totally over the top!
You know that feeling you get when you love somebody and everything is perfect?
You either have it or you don't. You can't fake it.
We've got it!
THAT is why I say "Wowsa!"
(that's like wow, only better!)
I don't think I've ever said "Wowsa!" before.
I'm sure there are other times where I THOUGHT it.
Like the first time I saw Kathy!
That time though, it sounded in my head more like, "WowsabrakecheckOMGwouldsucouldsuStopthepressesWhoooo!".
Similar, but not quite the same.
If I tried to say it, it definitely would've came out sounding very unintelligible.
Which is why I can't remember exactly what I said that night.
I was speechless.
I think I was more worried about saying something stupid than trying to look cool.
Kathy had other guys chasing her at the time (no surprise there), so there was NO WAY I was going to kill my first impression by saying something like "Wowsa!".
Today though, is different.
I have married my dream, the other guys chasing her then have since gone on to settle for less (sorry guys, somebody has to win), and we have a solid love that keeps getting stronger.
Which is why I feel comfortable saying "Wowsa!".
Valentines Day was completely unexpected!
No, I did not forget, I mean, Kathy had an evening planned that totally changed MY evening plans for us.
It had everything you can imagine! Intimate dinner, romantic cards and gifts, flowers, candlelight bubble bath, sweet words and so much more.
We even had some hilarious texts that had us cracking up!
It was totally over the top!
You know that feeling you get when you love somebody and everything is perfect?
You either have it or you don't. You can't fake it.
We've got it!
THAT is why I say "Wowsa!"
Monday, February 13, 2012
Thanks for asking!
I have had more people mention my lack of blogging lately than I can count.
I exaggerate. In the last two weeks it's only been six... or seven.
Kathy is getting spunky again.
Has an adorable sense of humor again.
Is looking forward to going out again.
Is absolutely gorgeous as always.
If you haven't checked in lately you are missing out on an incredible comeback!
The best part is...
As Kathy's healing progresses, things will only keep getting better!
If I'm not being clear, aside from Kathy knowing all the songs to all the commercials on TV, I couldn't anticipate things being this good this soon after such a horrible injury.
I'll be better about blogging.
Talk at you again soon!
I exaggerate. In the last two weeks it's only been six... or seven.
Kathy is getting spunky again.
Has an adorable sense of humor again.
Is looking forward to going out again.
Is absolutely gorgeous as always.
If you haven't checked in lately you are missing out on an incredible comeback!
The best part is...
As Kathy's healing progresses, things will only keep getting better!
If I'm not being clear, aside from Kathy knowing all the songs to all the commercials on TV, I couldn't anticipate things being this good this soon after such a horrible injury.
I'll be better about blogging.
Talk at you again soon!
the hiatus is over!
Oh stop! You knew she would be back!
I'm just here to tell you about it.
Kathy has been putting the work in and it shows.
A letdown, shortly after the incredible benefit, was to be expected I suppose, but the bottom was short lived and not nearly as deep as it could have been.
In fact, it feels a little unnecessary to even mention it, except that (other than a large handful of Kathy's close friends) most who read this don't know what has been going on or why no updates have been posted in awhile.
If things are really good or really bad I tend to not write as much.
We went from a really great night at Rosco's, to a really bad time of Kathy not being able to see past the moment in front of her, to a really great rebound that I'm about to tell you about.
The pain has always been pretty predictable.
The helplessness and frustration of waiting for Kathy's left leg to heal enough to start working with it was the part that breaks down willpower.
Guess what?
It's over!
Well, not completely, but tomorrow is getting closer to being today.
Kathy has been given the okay to put 50 pounds of weight on her left leg.
That means she can use a walker to go through the motions!
I can't even imagine how great it must feel to "walk" for the first time in almost four months!
The leg still hurts, but what a relief for the hips and body.
It's pretty cute to see her jamming around the house all smiles!
What a difference for all of us!
Still a long way to go,
but it is So Beautiful to watch her get her glow back!
I'm just here to tell you about it.
Kathy has been putting the work in and it shows.
A letdown, shortly after the incredible benefit, was to be expected I suppose, but the bottom was short lived and not nearly as deep as it could have been.
In fact, it feels a little unnecessary to even mention it, except that (other than a large handful of Kathy's close friends) most who read this don't know what has been going on or why no updates have been posted in awhile.
If things are really good or really bad I tend to not write as much.
We went from a really great night at Rosco's, to a really bad time of Kathy not being able to see past the moment in front of her, to a really great rebound that I'm about to tell you about.
The pain has always been pretty predictable.
The helplessness and frustration of waiting for Kathy's left leg to heal enough to start working with it was the part that breaks down willpower.
Guess what?
It's over!
Well, not completely, but tomorrow is getting closer to being today.
Kathy has been given the okay to put 50 pounds of weight on her left leg.
That means she can use a walker to go through the motions!
I can't even imagine how great it must feel to "walk" for the first time in almost four months!
The leg still hurts, but what a relief for the hips and body.
It's pretty cute to see her jamming around the house all smiles!
What a difference for all of us!
Still a long way to go,
but it is So Beautiful to watch her get her glow back!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
just because you can't see the finish line...
...it doesn't mean it's not there.
Kathy has been getting better at using crutches.
Her right ankle still needs ligament repair, so she wears a brace to keep from twisting it and undoing what has mended.
She is spending more time in the office at home, in her wheel chair, on the computer.
Kathy needs butt rubs, from sitting so much (I'm smiling right now).
Kathy's mobility allows her to see all the little stuff that nobody else notices until it's left undone for a long time.
She sees it before people come over and see it.
It's okay though.
It's more "normal" (I am also looking forward to more "normal" work hours).
Having the time again and having the ability again to do things together again and we can be a more "normal" family again.
I know my eternal optimism drives Kathy crazy, but I can envision what the finish line looks like, even though we can't see it.
I would've quit, back when I used to run races, if I couldn't imagine crossing that line and being done!
It felt so good and was so worth it (even if it was only worth it because it meant pushing myself so hard was over,.. for now).
Not to belittle what Kathy is going through, because it is far worse than anything I've experienced.
More often than not, the anticipation of the IDEA of the journey is more difficult than the journey itself.
It can paralyze action.
I am proud of Kathy for not letting that happen.
There is a lot to admire about the way Kathy is tackling her recovery.
It really helps knowing that there IS a finish line.
Kathy has been getting better at using crutches.
Her right ankle still needs ligament repair, so she wears a brace to keep from twisting it and undoing what has mended.
She is spending more time in the office at home, in her wheel chair, on the computer.
Kathy needs butt rubs, from sitting so much (I'm smiling right now).
Kathy's mobility allows her to see all the little stuff that nobody else notices until it's left undone for a long time.
She sees it before people come over and see it.
It's okay though.
It's more "normal" (I am also looking forward to more "normal" work hours).
Having the time again and having the ability again to do things together again and we can be a more "normal" family again.
I know my eternal optimism drives Kathy crazy, but I can envision what the finish line looks like, even though we can't see it.
I would've quit, back when I used to run races, if I couldn't imagine crossing that line and being done!
It felt so good and was so worth it (even if it was only worth it because it meant pushing myself so hard was over,.. for now).
Not to belittle what Kathy is going through, because it is far worse than anything I've experienced.
More often than not, the anticipation of the IDEA of the journey is more difficult than the journey itself.
It can paralyze action.
I am proud of Kathy for not letting that happen.
There is a lot to admire about the way Kathy is tackling her recovery.
It really helps knowing that there IS a finish line.
Friday, January 13, 2012
passion is the giant magnet
The same passion that attracts me to Kathy, also can turn against her.
Bottomless lows versus ultimate highs.
The extremes pull me toward her.
The highs won't ignored.
They demand to be shared.
The lows have demands also.
They demand to be replaced by the highs.
Kathy's life couldn't be made into a movie.
No one would believe it.
No one has this good of luck, or this bad.
If we lived lives without mirrors I could revel in the peaks and canyons with her.
It's when I catch a glimpse of myself, a glimpse of Kathy, living in the uncertiantude, that I wonder how she'll get back from jumping around like a monkey.
Just seeing if you're paying attention.
Kathy hasn't been jumping around like a monkey for awhile now.
My mom always told me that you can't experience the highest highs without experiencing the lowest lows.
I repeated that saying to my boys growing up, but never really grasped it in a real sense, as more than a warning.
Until now.
I crawl down through the muck until I am at Kathy's side and pull her upwards to a place where I am more comfortable seeing her.
A place where the sun shines bright and dries tears.
Icarus flew too high and fell to the earth, but what if he had someone to catch him, so he could try again and again?
My passion is catch Kathy's passion and to feed it until she is able to fly again.
When she flies, I fly.
Bottomless lows versus ultimate highs.
The extremes pull me toward her.
The highs won't ignored.
They demand to be shared.
The lows have demands also.
They demand to be replaced by the highs.
Kathy's life couldn't be made into a movie.
No one would believe it.
No one has this good of luck, or this bad.
If we lived lives without mirrors I could revel in the peaks and canyons with her.
It's when I catch a glimpse of myself, a glimpse of Kathy, living in the uncertiantude, that I wonder how she'll get back from jumping around like a monkey.
Just seeing if you're paying attention.
Kathy hasn't been jumping around like a monkey for awhile now.
My mom always told me that you can't experience the highest highs without experiencing the lowest lows.
I repeated that saying to my boys growing up, but never really grasped it in a real sense, as more than a warning.
Until now.
I crawl down through the muck until I am at Kathy's side and pull her upwards to a place where I am more comfortable seeing her.
A place where the sun shines bright and dries tears.
Icarus flew too high and fell to the earth, but what if he had someone to catch him, so he could try again and again?
My passion is catch Kathy's passion and to feed it until she is able to fly again.
When she flies, I fly.
Distracted for an instant
That's all it took for everything to change.
The last distraction that had this big of an impact was the night of June 12th two years ago.
I was going through life as most any other dude was,
hanging with my bro's (no, I don't really talk like that), coaching sports, working out, working, raising my boys and generally taking life one day at a time.
It wasn't like I was distracted by something in my peripheral vision,
this was in my face, impossible to ignore.
A girl.
Not just any girl.
The cutest cow girl I ever saw!
Little did I know at the time that Kathy was only masquerading as a cow girl
(doing a better job at it than the formerly cutest cow girl could ever hope to).
Since that first meeting I have seen her beautiful incarnations as a hippy love child,
sporty adventurer, hot rock & roll chick, intelligent professional, fearless exhibitionist, fragile Angel, intense competitor, sophisticated classy lady and so much more.
I see Kathy's ability to meet new friends and create a comfort zone for total strangers in minutes.
I'd like to say I saw this possibilty in the instant I was distracted by her, but I didn't.
I just saw bright blue eyes, a fantastic smile and I won't lie, a super sexy Candy Apple Butt
(same as every other dude that saw her).
Distracted for an instant.
It was enough for me!
Still is!
All the other stuff I mentioned above is just a bonus.
Instant distractions usually end up becoming commonplace.
This is an instant of distraction that has never ended.
The last distraction that had this big of an impact was the night of June 12th two years ago.
I was going through life as most any other dude was,
hanging with my bro's (no, I don't really talk like that), coaching sports, working out, working, raising my boys and generally taking life one day at a time.
It wasn't like I was distracted by something in my peripheral vision,
this was in my face, impossible to ignore.
A girl.
Not just any girl.
The cutest cow girl I ever saw!
Little did I know at the time that Kathy was only masquerading as a cow girl
(doing a better job at it than the formerly cutest cow girl could ever hope to).
Since that first meeting I have seen her beautiful incarnations as a hippy love child,
sporty adventurer, hot rock & roll chick, intelligent professional, fearless exhibitionist, fragile Angel, intense competitor, sophisticated classy lady and so much more.
I see Kathy's ability to meet new friends and create a comfort zone for total strangers in minutes.
I'd like to say I saw this possibilty in the instant I was distracted by her, but I didn't.
I just saw bright blue eyes, a fantastic smile and I won't lie, a super sexy Candy Apple Butt
(same as every other dude that saw her).
Distracted for an instant.
It was enough for me!
Still is!
All the other stuff I mentioned above is just a bonus.
Instant distractions usually end up becoming commonplace.
This is an instant of distraction that has never ended.
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