I must admit to feeling uninspired lately.
Partly it is the same thing that affects Kathy (the slow grind of healing can't be watched with pleasure), partly it is my fatigue, but mostly it is a falling off of that feeling of desperation for others to know just what Kathy is going through.
I suffer from the same thing we all do -
The intense shock felt when Kathy was first hurt, fades over time.
The adrenaline that energizes action wears out.
This is the time when I should be pushing harder than ever!
I am doing everything I can to keep stress from Kathy's life.
The rub, for me, is that the more I work to relieve financial stress, the less time I have to be home with Kathy. She is stuck at home and, while Kathy is getting more able to manuver herself, she can not stand, can not leave the house, drive to town, get dishes from the upper cabinets, shower herself, etc.
Even knowing this, for most who know Kathy, the sense of urgency is ending.
We all have lives too!
With Christmas only a couple weeks away, kids to look after, weddings, jobs, cold weather, and everything else, someone else will make time to check up on Kathy.
Besides, she has a great husband who adores her, HE should be the one taking care of her!
Believe me, I'm trying my best to.
In looking out for Kathy, I want to remind you of the "Love to Walk" Concert Benefit at Roscoe's this next Thursday 6:00-9:00!
The Rogue Suspects are playing! Kathy loves those guys!
There will be some cool silent auction items, a pledge drive, a 50/50 raffle and more!
(Roscoe's BBQ 117 S. Main, Phoenix, OR)
I have to tell you,
the help will be nice, but more important to me is just showing your support for Kathy.
I see the strength she gets from her friends.
I'm afraid we haven't got the word out well and this is a busy season for all.
Kathy has been floored by the love sent to her in so many ways.
Even if you just come out for a great time, I hope to see you at Roscoe's Thursday!
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Cute on one side
Kathy has always been the cute one!
No matter where she is, what job she is at, what she is doing, Kathy always catches eyes.
She pulls off awkward moments and embarrassing situations
(without a "Do Not Go To Jail" card!).
It's not just her great smile and beautiful eyes, Kathy projects without pretence.
It's not common and it is definitely attractive.
She has a nonthreatening newness in the way she approaches things.
Girls don't feel insecure around her until they notice their guys paying too much attention.
Even then, they know it's understandable, I mean, seriously, who can resist her personality?
Add her eye candy looks and she becomes impossibly irresistible!
I suspect you are starting to roll your eyes as I am so obviously biased.
Okay, so...
The same lack of pretence can be turned over.
The brightness of the moon also has a dark side that noone ever sees.
If a match stops burning, it leaves only black carbon.
The good energy required to maintain that glow, can be taxing if the source is compromised.
(I wonder if that is why commedians are often moody when not on stage performing)
You suspect I will betray a weakness? In me? In Kathy, yes?
No, she truly is the strongest woman I have ever met.
We all cope with things differently and I doubt most could go through this as well as Kathy has.
Sometimes, it seems like things are so easy for certain people.
Aren't we all surprised when those people come crashing down?
It's easy to think they don't need help like regular people. They have it all, remember?
Only those closest to them see how hard it is for them to hold on to who they are.
This affects everyone around Kathy.
The closer you are, the more you are affected.
Understanding, what it is taking from Kathy to heal, is the secret.
Teaching that understanding to all who care about her, is my goal.
No matter where she is, what job she is at, what she is doing, Kathy always catches eyes.
She pulls off awkward moments and embarrassing situations
(without a "Do Not Go To Jail" card!).
It's not just her great smile and beautiful eyes, Kathy projects without pretence.
It's not common and it is definitely attractive.
She has a nonthreatening newness in the way she approaches things.
Girls don't feel insecure around her until they notice their guys paying too much attention.
Even then, they know it's understandable, I mean, seriously, who can resist her personality?
Add her eye candy looks and she becomes impossibly irresistible!
I suspect you are starting to roll your eyes as I am so obviously biased.
Okay, so...
The same lack of pretence can be turned over.
The brightness of the moon also has a dark side that noone ever sees.
If a match stops burning, it leaves only black carbon.
The good energy required to maintain that glow, can be taxing if the source is compromised.
(I wonder if that is why commedians are often moody when not on stage performing)
You suspect I will betray a weakness? In me? In Kathy, yes?
No, she truly is the strongest woman I have ever met.
We all cope with things differently and I doubt most could go through this as well as Kathy has.
Sometimes, it seems like things are so easy for certain people.
Aren't we all surprised when those people come crashing down?
It's easy to think they don't need help like regular people. They have it all, remember?
Only those closest to them see how hard it is for them to hold on to who they are.
This affects everyone around Kathy.
The closer you are, the more you are affected.
Understanding, what it is taking from Kathy to heal, is the secret.
Teaching that understanding to all who care about her, is my goal.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Been away to that place
It's been a few days since I've posted.
By the time I get a chance to post, I am way too tired.
Lately, I feel like I'm surrounded by fires, slapping at each of them, but not putting any of them out.
At least I can blame it on being behind on too many things and a lack of focus on each of them. Eventually they will all be behind me.
I wish Kathy could see that eventually this will be behind her too.
Some days are a challenge for her to get through.
Some days are a challenge for all of us to get through (note to self; to prevent the impression of over-dramatization, avoid graphic descriptions of actual events in this, use vague cliches instead).
There has been so much to write about.
Kathy's friends are still incredible!
We put a mattress on the pool table so she can be moved out of the same four walls - one of Kathy's best days was when six of her friends came over in one day. Some made food, some climbed on the pool table with her and watched movies, some brought flowers, some just cared for her.
It gave me a chance to check out and veg for a day.
It also came at a perfect time for Kathy. She was slipping fast into a destructive depression.
Thank you girls!!!
My Aunts and Uncles have made trips out. Our motorcycle buddy has been here when everyone else is too busy.
I'm avoiding names this posting because, honestly, I don't remember everyone who has helped this last couple weeks that I have been so slammed at work! I have way too many distractions to keep track of it all, so I'm not naming anyone. You know who you are. You know how grateful we are for your consideration.
Kathy has a steep hill to climb and that realization has sunk in. It's demoralizing. Having friends around distracts her from dwelling on it, keeps her from that place.
Hope to see you soon!
By the time I get a chance to post, I am way too tired.
Lately, I feel like I'm surrounded by fires, slapping at each of them, but not putting any of them out.
At least I can blame it on being behind on too many things and a lack of focus on each of them. Eventually they will all be behind me.
I wish Kathy could see that eventually this will be behind her too.
Some days are a challenge for her to get through.
Some days are a challenge for all of us to get through (note to self; to prevent the impression of over-dramatization, avoid graphic descriptions of actual events in this, use vague cliches instead).
There has been so much to write about.
Kathy's friends are still incredible!
We put a mattress on the pool table so she can be moved out of the same four walls - one of Kathy's best days was when six of her friends came over in one day. Some made food, some climbed on the pool table with her and watched movies, some brought flowers, some just cared for her.
It gave me a chance to check out and veg for a day.
It also came at a perfect time for Kathy. She was slipping fast into a destructive depression.
Thank you girls!!!
My Aunts and Uncles have made trips out. Our motorcycle buddy has been here when everyone else is too busy.
I'm avoiding names this posting because, honestly, I don't remember everyone who has helped this last couple weeks that I have been so slammed at work! I have way too many distractions to keep track of it all, so I'm not naming anyone. You know who you are. You know how grateful we are for your consideration.
Kathy has a steep hill to climb and that realization has sunk in. It's demoralizing. Having friends around distracts her from dwelling on it, keeps her from that place.
Hope to see you soon!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
mirror mirror on the wall
The danger with writing alot is; you risk diluting the message.
The same can be said for the way time dulls the intensity of reactions to shocking news.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
Do you think that's true?
If I asked you again, would you think the same thing you just thought?
As Kathy adjusts to life in the REALLY slow lane, she has time to change the first impression that people get, to move ahead of where she was.
This is encouraging to those of us who have been with her since the accident.
It's a little misleading though, to anyone who missed where she came from.
It's easy to look at Kathy and see that, other than a cast on her right foot/leg and a left leg that won't quite work right, she is as beautiful as she always was!
What's the big deal, right? She's going to be fiiiine.
I hope you're right.
I tell Kathy that she needs to be patient, that she will recover, that I'm not full of s***, naively spouting optimistic encouragements.
It's like watching a puppy grow; If you see that puppy every day, it doesn't seem like it's changing much, but if you didn't see it for a week or two...
Kathy doesn't see her improvement the way you will when you see her.
You will leave with the impression that Ted is one lucky man,
and you will be right!
The same can be said for the way time dulls the intensity of reactions to shocking news.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
Do you think that's true?
If I asked you again, would you think the same thing you just thought?
As Kathy adjusts to life in the REALLY slow lane, she has time to change the first impression that people get, to move ahead of where she was.
This is encouraging to those of us who have been with her since the accident.
It's a little misleading though, to anyone who missed where she came from.
It's easy to look at Kathy and see that, other than a cast on her right foot/leg and a left leg that won't quite work right, she is as beautiful as she always was!
What's the big deal, right? She's going to be fiiiine.
I hope you're right.
I tell Kathy that she needs to be patient, that she will recover, that I'm not full of s***, naively spouting optimistic encouragements.
It's like watching a puppy grow; If you see that puppy every day, it doesn't seem like it's changing much, but if you didn't see it for a week or two...
Kathy doesn't see her improvement the way you will when you see her.
You will leave with the impression that Ted is one lucky man,
and you will be right!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
a different point of view
Ted here. Just read my last posting.
I had a much bigger idea in mind when I started writing it, then rushed it short and posted without checking how it flowed.
Basically, I was trying to write something cool about miracles and Kathy.
It sounds like a bit of an exaggeration to use "miracle", when much bigger "miracles", more deserving of the name, have occurred in history past.
I was then admitting how if nothing else improved in Kathy's condition, it's alright by me.
I'm just happy to have her back home!
Still, for Kathy, it sure will be nice if she can get back enough to do what she's always done.
LIVE LIFE BIG!!!
Sometimes, what seems to be a little thing for one person - can be HUGE for someone else
(Not sure walking is a little thing for anyone though)!
Alright, let me catch you up -
In the last few days both Michelle's have visited, along with Ian, Theresa, Daniel, Uncle Mike & Aunt Traci, My sister and her family, Jessica, Jerome, Kristie, Julie (my daughter-in-law) and Gage was in town too. Kathy has really enjoyed the company!
Kathy is getting more "able" everyday!
Usually pays for it later, but she is doing things better and faster!
She wheels herself around (slowly on carpet) to see all the things she USED to do, that are not done so well now.
It creates a crazy frustration level for Kathy to have to let go of some of the little things (see above).
The girls are a big help in this area.
Example; I couldn't seem to get the counter wiped good enough.
Then I looked at it from wheelchair level. Oops! She's right! I DID miss spots!
The "mottled mix" appearance of the counter hides crumbs from a top view.
This is going to take some getting used to for all of us.
I think a different perspective is going to be the norm for awhile.
I had a much bigger idea in mind when I started writing it, then rushed it short and posted without checking how it flowed.
Basically, I was trying to write something cool about miracles and Kathy.
It sounds like a bit of an exaggeration to use "miracle", when much bigger "miracles", more deserving of the name, have occurred in history past.
I was then admitting how if nothing else improved in Kathy's condition, it's alright by me.
I'm just happy to have her back home!
Still, for Kathy, it sure will be nice if she can get back enough to do what she's always done.
LIVE LIFE BIG!!!
Sometimes, what seems to be a little thing for one person - can be HUGE for someone else
(Not sure walking is a little thing for anyone though)!
Alright, let me catch you up -
In the last few days both Michelle's have visited, along with Ian, Theresa, Daniel, Uncle Mike & Aunt Traci, My sister and her family, Jessica, Jerome, Kristie, Julie (my daughter-in-law) and Gage was in town too. Kathy has really enjoyed the company!
Kathy is getting more "able" everyday!
Usually pays for it later, but she is doing things better and faster!
She wheels herself around (slowly on carpet) to see all the things she USED to do, that are not done so well now.
It creates a crazy frustration level for Kathy to have to let go of some of the little things (see above).
The girls are a big help in this area.
Example; I couldn't seem to get the counter wiped good enough.
Then I looked at it from wheelchair level. Oops! She's right! I DID miss spots!
The "mottled mix" appearance of the counter hides crumbs from a top view.
This is going to take some getting used to for all of us.
I think a different perspective is going to be the norm for awhile.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
In the realm of miracles
Cool heading, huh?
I'm practicing epic descriptions in this post - to better prepare myself for the day Kathy dances again.
I don't want to be caught offguard, without an idea of how to express the full impact of the moment.
Empires rise and fall, but knowledge of their history is dependent on the stories the bards tell.
What do you think of the Romans? The Greeks? The British? How about the Mayans?
I think these Dynasties fell because their foundation crumbled.
It's not as simple as just that, but in a weird way, it is.
Look at how they lost the focus to stay true to what made them great! (Is this still a Kathy blog?)
Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about (in truth, I wasn't there then), but in Kathy's case, I do not care what comes after the fall.
I care only that the fall does not happen at all!
Her legs are NOT her foundation.
Kathy's foundation is built on fearless compassion and adventure, on a trust that she won't get hurt (by people or life).
When Kathy's trust IS disappointed and she's hurt, it doesn't make her jaded to life (or those left in hers). THAT is the part that can't die.
Because her foundation does not crumble, her legs can be destroyed, but the strength of who she is still holds up.
She deserves to walk again.
Not for me, I don't need it for her to be My Forever, but for Kathy, I pray she dances again.
It is not an impossible request.
Sooner or later, everyone prays,.. for themselves, for someone else, for deliverance, for a cure... for a miracle.
I'm practicing epic descriptions in this post - to better prepare myself for the day Kathy dances again.
I don't want to be caught offguard, without an idea of how to express the full impact of the moment.
Empires rise and fall, but knowledge of their history is dependent on the stories the bards tell.
What do you think of the Romans? The Greeks? The British? How about the Mayans?
I think these Dynasties fell because their foundation crumbled.
It's not as simple as just that, but in a weird way, it is.
Look at how they lost the focus to stay true to what made them great! (Is this still a Kathy blog?)
Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about (in truth, I wasn't there then), but in Kathy's case, I do not care what comes after the fall.
I care only that the fall does not happen at all!
Her legs are NOT her foundation.
Kathy's foundation is built on fearless compassion and adventure, on a trust that she won't get hurt (by people or life).
When Kathy's trust IS disappointed and she's hurt, it doesn't make her jaded to life (or those left in hers). THAT is the part that can't die.
Because her foundation does not crumble, her legs can be destroyed, but the strength of who she is still holds up.
She deserves to walk again.
Not for me, I don't need it for her to be My Forever, but for Kathy, I pray she dances again.
It is not an impossible request.
Sooner or later, everyone prays,.. for themselves, for someone else, for deliverance, for a cure... for a miracle.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Ted here.
Thanksgiving wasn't so strange after all!
As they so often do, plans changed.
Oh, I could've done the lazy male thing when plans at my Aunt Tracy's wouldn't work, then the get together at our house fell through, and I could've ordered Chinese. Kathy always has someone to back me up in cases like this though, as Shasta City Michelle brought over plates of turkey food and fixings!
Not to worry, I, Ted, had things under control.
That's right, I cooked a Thanksgiving dinner!
We didn't have turkey, but ham is a good substitute if you aren't going to have turkey, right? Ham, with a bit of mashed potatoes, corn, salad, cottage cheese with peaches, cranberry sauce and a fruit salad! Yum! Except Kathy only nibbles these days (maybe it was the bone marrow soup she ate just before dinner). Still, it had a Thanksgivingy feel to it, so I'm putting a star sticker by my name!
My sister and her family came late and are staying the night.
Thanks to all who called Kathy today. Hope your day went well!
Thanksgiving wasn't so strange after all!
As they so often do, plans changed.
Oh, I could've done the lazy male thing when plans at my Aunt Tracy's wouldn't work, then the get together at our house fell through, and I could've ordered Chinese. Kathy always has someone to back me up in cases like this though, as Shasta City Michelle brought over plates of turkey food and fixings!
Not to worry, I, Ted, had things under control.
That's right, I cooked a Thanksgiving dinner!
We didn't have turkey, but ham is a good substitute if you aren't going to have turkey, right? Ham, with a bit of mashed potatoes, corn, salad, cottage cheese with peaches, cranberry sauce and a fruit salad! Yum! Except Kathy only nibbles these days (maybe it was the bone marrow soup she ate just before dinner). Still, it had a Thanksgivingy feel to it, so I'm putting a star sticker by my name!
My sister and her family came late and are staying the night.
Thanks to all who called Kathy today. Hope your day went well!
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